Even in marriage, I'm still getting mixed messages.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 04/16/2016 at 18:07 • Filed to: marriage

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Sitting in bed after a luxurious dinner of pizza and ice cream last night, my wife shows me a vehicle for sale nearby posted on her facebook.

“Hey! Look at this!”
“Sweet!”
“It’s for sale.”
“... But, you didn’t want the property to be covered in cars.”
“I don’t.”
“Then why are you showing me this?”
“Because I thought you’d like it!”
“I do like it! I want to buy it, though!”
“Oh, babe. If it you want it and it makes you happy, go ahead!”
“UGHHGHGUHUGHUGU!”

Coupling this and the time time she !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , I’m thinking she’s loading up on ammo to lobby for second puppy or something. Weh-heh-heh-hell. Good luck, ma’am.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 18:12

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Paging CB, please post a happy Zoidberg meme or gif here. Thank you

TheHondaBro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 18:12

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What if I bought it?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TheHondaBro 04/16/2016 at 18:13

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We could be friends maybe

garagemonkee > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 18:14

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I thought you two were already lovers.

Steve in Manhattan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 18:15

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Like Spock and Obama, she’s playing 3-level chess while you’re looking at a flat board and some checkers. She will win.

slipperysallylikespenguins > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 18:17

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.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Steve in Manhattan 04/16/2016 at 18:18

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Dammit I’m just a simple man that likes cars and beer. I can’t keep up with this!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > slipperysallylikespenguins 04/16/2016 at 18:19

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That show was ahead of its time.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > garagemonkee 04/16/2016 at 18:20

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Outside of the occasional dick-pic, actually quite formal.

Steve in Manhattan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 18:38

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Just make sure she comes with you for any inspection/test drive/currency exchange. And bring a mechanic who knows these things.

chaozbandit > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 18:38

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Whats wrong with a second puppy? Everybody loves puppies!

Right? :/

Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 18:39

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Birddog > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 18:41

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Yeah, second pup is coming. I can hear it already “if we get her a playmate....”

Wait, I actually fell for that once..

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Birddog 04/16/2016 at 18:42

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Yep, she mentioned that last week, too. “She needs a friend.”

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 19:10

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That is a great color!

She probably wants another puppy or worse.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 04/16/2016 at 19:16

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I know what you think the “worse” is. Thank you for REMINDING ME ON A WEEKLY BASIS!

Actually less interesting (but you would read it), I won’t be buying it. The seller listed the price without the shitty rims (not pictured), so it was 400 more if I wanted these rims with the car. That was a minor red flag. The major one was at the end he blurbed that it “just needed” a lower radiator hose and a thermostat. Meaning it overheats and is lying that replacing two simple parts will fix it, as opposed to what it most likely is: a blown headgasket.

There are decent human beings out there somewhere selling cars, but they are few and far in between.

Frenchlicker > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 19:27

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Second puppy and new car? I'll trade you places.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Frenchlicker 04/16/2016 at 19:29

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But I only want HALF those things.

Frenchlicker > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 19:31

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Regardless of what you think you want a second puppy.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 19:41

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Ugh yeah that sounds like a basket case. I just got back from the liquor store. This was out front.

$3,700, needs new muffler, but it's autotragic

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 04/16/2016 at 19:49

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Goddammit. Of course it’s an auto.

Spaceball-Two > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/16/2016 at 19:50

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Swap couldn't be that hard right?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Spaceball-Two 04/16/2016 at 19:52

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Shit, any work for me is hard. I’m lazy.

Funktheduck > Spaceball-Two 04/16/2016 at 20:56

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I keep seeing a white one around town. Backfired one time and scare the crap out of the dogs I was walking. Startled me a little too but I'm more used to random car noise than dogs.

Spaceball-Two > Funktheduck 04/16/2016 at 21:48

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I kinda want to offer 1800 and see if they take it.

Funktheduck > Spaceball-Two 04/16/2016 at 22:07

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Do it

wafflesnfalafel > Spaceball-Two 04/16/2016 at 22:17

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$3700?!

Spaceball-Two > wafflesnfalafel 04/16/2016 at 22:34

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80k original miles. It was super clean. No rust that I could see.

Dru > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 04/18/2016 at 10:53

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I fell for the "our pet needs another pet to keep her company" thing once. Except with cats. The original pet prefers to be alone, as we found out, and we later found a stray orange kitten on the side of the road, whom we picked up and saved of course. Now we have 3. Three cats. Cat #2 and cat #3 are the best of friends though, so there's that. Now the wife hints at wanting kids. I don't know why she insist on bringing home so many small creatures that need their poop removed manually. Don't fall for it. It's a trap.